That's Right, Slick

i blame it on the crazy heat...

gallon of costco massage oil: $39.99

slip-n-slide: $12.99

7 adults and a puppy with too much time on their hands: priceless

Good Times

days since aerobed was first inflated: 17

number of times i've jumped on and off: 5,987,420

imaginary waves surfed on airbed, hanging tail: 3,547

numbers of times mp has woken up saying, "lilly, this is not your trampoline:" 49

money well spent.

Pick One. Wheely.

after much debate, the great car caper has settled down, and an internal consensus has been reached.

that's what mp says; in reality, i tell her what to do, and i happen to love our car... so! mp will keep the crv for my nana to use when her car finally dies of old age (it's on life support right now, but she wants to hit 250,000 miles on the same engine before she sends it to a farm in the country to play with other hondas). after the 1 series comes out in the spring, mp will decide between the 135i and the 335i. we appreciate all of your input and support through this ambivalent time. seriously, mp is always like this about buying a new car; it's a testament to the chickapea's high sex drive that she hasn't ditched my person for a less-neurotic model. then again, the pea has a couple of bimmer's of her own, so she gets it.

no. she doesn't.

on the way to the meeting today, mp was following a caravan of future-model cars, all covered in their vinyl padding, flanked by escort trucks. unfortunately, her casual camera was broken in a particularly vicious game of backseat twister, so all she got were lousy camera phone shots.

that doesn't mean she wasn't jumping in her seat like a monkey at what appeared to be ford's response to the matrix and the fit and a large suv that looked like a filled out explorer.



we did try to get a clean shot of the car, but the escort vehicles were flanking it pretty tight and shot-blocking.

Oh, They Grow Up So Fast

my person just did her first "speaker presentation" in a professional capacity. i'm so proud of her. she felt like she left a lot of things out (because she did), but people kept coming up to her congratulating her and telling her they'd learned a lot. dumping a liter of vodka in the water pitcher probably helped, but it was pretty cool nonetheless.

if someone had told mp a year ago that it was the start of the best year of her life, she would have called them a dirty name and (after i washed her mouth out with soap) gone back to moping. i'm still not postive how we got here, though i have an idea... all i know is that somehow we have always gotten what we need.

Across the Universe

nothing's gonna change my world

Oh, Those Wacky Commercials

"if you feel trapped by frequent diarrhea, there's a fast way out..."

i'm just a puppy, but isn't this a little redundant?

Morning Karaoke, #5

"Suite: Judy Blue Eyes"

It's getting to the point
Where I'm no fun anymore
I am sorry.
Sometimes it hurts so badly
I must cry out loud
I am lonely.
I am yours, you are mine,
You are what you are
And you make it hard--

Remember what we've said, and done, and felt
about each other
Oh babe, have mercy.
Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now.
I am not dreaming.
I am yours, you are mine, you are what you are.
And you make it hard--

Tearing yourself away from me now,
You are free and I am crying.
This does not mean I don't love you,
I do, that's forever, and always.
I am yours, you are mine, you are what you are.
And you make it hard--

Something inside is telling me that
I've got your secret. Are you still listening?
Fear is the lock, and laughter the key to your heart.
And I love you.

I am yours, you are mine, you are what you are.
And you make it hard,
And you make it hard--

Friday evening, Sunday in the afternoon,
What have you got to lose?
Tuesday mornin', please be gone I'm tired of you.
Can I tell it like it is? Help me I'm sufferin'.
Listen to me baby--Help me I'm dyin'.
It's my heart that's a-sufferin', it's a dyin'.
That's what I have to lose.
I've got an answer
I'm going to fly away,
What have I got to lose?
Will you come see me Thursdays and Saturdays?
What have you got to lose?

Chestnut brown canary, ruby-throated sparrow.
Sing a song, don't be long.
Thrill me to the marrow.
Voices of the angels, ring around the moonlight.
Asking me, said she so free,
How can you catch the sparrow?

Lacy lilting lady, losing love lamenting,
Change my life, make it right.
Be my lady.

Que linda me la traiga Cuba,
La reina de la Mar Caribe.
Cielo sol no tiene sangre allí,
y que triste que no puedo vaya,
Oh va, oh va, va.

--Stephen Stills

FYI

i learned a few things last night.

first, just because mp calls someone 'my baby chicken,' that does not make them food. i don't get this rule. chicken has always been tasty goodness, but when i bit this chicken, i got sent to my crate.

second, you shouldn't lick your chops every time two people kiss. trying to get your muzzle on up in there is frowned upon too. who knew? i thought it was a group activity.

third, scarves in the bedroom are not for tug-o-war. well, mp says that isn't always true, but she'll tell me when i'm older.

Tickle Me Harder

it's still funny. who knew?

Sometime Taste is All in the Mouth

it's been pretty damn hot around here, so when my person needed to hop into a store for a second, she smuggled me in with her. i love the lbc, because people ignore the occasional fuzzy-muzzle-under-a-hat routine. in whittier... not so much. as we were completing our purchase, a walrus-man (trust me on this one) came up and said "undesirable" animals were not allowed. i couldn't let that shit go. i looked him straight in the face and said, "you stock that and call my person 'undesirable'?"













somewhere, buried in that mess, is a shirt.
i think.

I Have Sinned

well, i haven't sinned. however, in response to the random emails (some prodding, some accusatoy, some with dirty pictures-- thank you, by the way) i will admit it. yes, mp has been slaking off. i've seen the complaints-- all four of them. (seriously, fourth reader, when did you show up? are you the one screwing up my stats?) apparently, my posts have lacked a certain entertainment value lately. my person has been slacking off. i admit it. she's been lazy, and it's because of her that my posts are neither witty nor regular. there's a certain symmetry in that, though, because irregularity is never... oh, wait; yes, it is.

i digress.

at some point, a few months ago, my person became the girl that other girls shop at victoria's secret for. i'm not sure how it happened (although it might, might, have something to do with the fact that mp lost more than two feet in circumference). all i know is that mp says it's bad manners not to tell a girl what you think of her new outfit and that every town needs a tramp. i guess she's out trying to help that poor girl.

Yes, I Like Pina Coladas

don't be acting like you gnomey.

We Bought Tickets, Why?

in her previous life, when mp used to go to concerts and shows, she would look at empty seats scattered around sold-out events and wonder why people would buy tickets and not go.

now she knows.... and it is good.

anyone that wants to be on stand-by for the last half of the bowl season, email us. there's a lot of great stuff coming up that we probably won't be seeing. don't feel too bad for my person; she's doing just fine.