yeah, i know, i know. i need some guy to stand here, midget swinging from his christmas balls, singing "i-rony." tragically, sam's club was out of stock on those.
anyway, she found this amazing sugar free banana flavor, and now has the most tasty banana mochas going on. thank god. maybe this will stop her from eating my belly. seriously-- it's been touch and go lately. she's been trying to convince me that i'm a little gamey so she can rub me down with banana-scented bath wipe.
then she nuzzles my belly, saying, "oh, puppy, you're so delicious." i've had nightmares about waking up with only one ear, a missing paw.... it's traumatic. never, ever go to bed with a chubby girl if you smell like her favourite food.
between us, i really smell like banana flavored corn chips after the wipes. oh, well. whatever makes my person happy.
