my person decided that she would hike the nature trail since she was up relatively early today. she grabbed a quick mf drink, got some water in her, slapped on the walkman, and headed out. it was already 81 degrees when she got out of her car, but she had a spring in her step, a bottle of water, and ambition.
hike on!
so, it turns out, it's not so mucha naure trail as a road to hell. seriously, she saw satan standing at the side of the road panting at one point. up, down, up, down. if you rolled a tennis ball down the trail, it would never stop, because there is no flat land anywhere. steep? hmmm. maybe.
there weren't many people out. apparently, other actually showed up when common sense was distributed. but we all know common sense isn't so fucking common, so as others gasped for breath and turned around, my person hiked on. the trail is only 2 miles. they are the 2 most hellish, unsheltered, water-free, miles ever. at approximately the 1.5 mile mark, the path dsappears. the bridge across the ravine is out. my person has about an ounce or two of water left. fuck.
ass kicking score: trail 1, my person 0.
she stood there for a while, weighing her options. she could turn back, but that would mean another 1 and a half miles of torture without water. it was freaking hot. it was freaking steep... she looked down the ravine and saw rocks and such staggered down. it was only about 12 feet deep. across the opening, there was a slight incline and some fence post. could she make it down without breaking something important? could she get UP the other side?
my person took a deep breathsat at the edge of the ravine, and climbed down into it. now, this is not the smartest thing she's ever done. visions of getting stuck down there and having to wait until some other crazy ass hiker stumbled upon the washed out area floated in her head. no one wants to wind up on the tv with the headline "breaking news" under their name. but she did not want to bow down to physical limitations any more. she made her way to the other side and began to work her way up by gripping the rock out croppings. when she pulled herself over the edge, she finished her water, laughed, and thanked god that her overall ability had imprved so much over the last year or so.
ass kicking score: trail 1, my person, 1.
ironically enough, after the ravine is where the trail got really serious. the next half a mile was pretty much straight up. her legs burned, her chest heaved, she was sweating buckets. but she did not sit. she did not stop. she plowed on like she was blazing a trail into the future. near the crest, she snapped a pic of where she had been.
ass kicking score: trail 1, my person 2.
the next few minutes were as grueling as anything she has done in the last 10 years. finally, she hit the brief stretch of paved road that let her know that she was close to the end. she looked left and right-- unsure of which way was out. then she smiled. if she went the wrong way, she could turn around and go back. the paved road, uphill as it was, had nothing on what she had just conquered.
ass kicking score: trail 1, my person 3.
game. set. match.
we'll both see you next weekend, nature trail. bring your best game, cause it's gonna be brutal the way we work your hills and laugh.
