Snoopy Dance Time!

See everyone tonight!

Pimptress, the Pooch, and MP

We saw the Pimptress again! It was marvelous-- and she didn't even kill MP for leaving drool marks on the waitress... even though she said hands off because she wants to go back to Cafe Sevilla. A little walk, a little talk, and some sangria to prepare for the world cup finals. It doesn't get better than that.

¡Viva España!

MP and I are headed out to party like rockstars, but we'd like to say thank you to everyone that spent time at our place during this world cup. Okay, okay, it's no hardship to spend an afternoon across the street from the beach-- but some of you came over at 6am for games. A few of you even stayed to help clean up. Two of you got naked. One of you was not asked to get dressed again. You guys pulled for my team once the US was eliminated, and that made it easier to compete with the Germany-lovin' neighbors in the yelling competition. It's been a blast. Hockey season starts in a couple months; let's do it again!

We'll keep the vuvuzela app ready to get hooked up to our stereo speakers once more.

¡Viva España!

Funniest. Shit. Ever.

My person reenacted this for a Starbucks in our old hood yesterday and got free coffee for her and the Pea. You may have seen it before, but if not-- it's so worth it. The following is from the treasure trove that is www.27bslash6.com/missy.html If you haven't gone there to waste away the hours you are supposed to be working, then what the hell have you been doing with your life?Anyway, normally, I would just link to this, but it's far too important to risk having it go unclicked.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.



This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say lost.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm

To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

Redemption (Sort of)

It's okay to like Twilight if you are 12... maybe 15 if nobody wants to kiss you, so you sneak off to "practice" with your slow cousin. But grown ass women digging this movie just creeps me out. First: the books are terrible. Really. Many little girls actually protested how lousy the last one in particular was and returned their books for a refund in a very smart act of protest against giving money to ______. Why do I write ______? Well, research her social values and that will become clear. No easy hits on this blog. Anyway, the movies (against the cosmic odds) are even worse. And Kristen Stewart is apparently competing for the Golden Douchie with such wonderful talents as clicking her tongue every three words (both in and out of movies), not realizing that she doesn't qualify for "assassination" (really, if someone goes there, it's at best a mercy killing), and coming across like a royal biatch on Letterman. You don't know what a "woof" is? Remember high school?

Alas, there is some redeeming value coming to the Twilight thing. The interactive 8-bit video! When it's time to choose your action, click on it, and the continuation video will open up in a new window. Trust me, it's way better than the movie and probably has higher production values.



As always, remember:

Hot, Hot, Puckin'

Hello, Summer! We just chose Ducks tickets for next year. This time I have two pairs of aisle seats (four piggybacked) in the terrace, rows K & L in the offensive zone, facing the benches. If you're interested in taking a game or two, send me a private message and we'll work something out.

A Long Time Ago, We Thought So, Too

Watch CBS News Videos Online

A Castle Fit for a Pup

MP and I put down the deposit on our custom kitchen cabinets today! Sweet! We're going white shaker with a double beaded panel, wood floors, stainless appliances (most already in), and either a recycled glass counter top or stainless steel back splash. It is going to be awesome! I'm so excited that my kibble will be coming from a beautiful pull-out pantry. Puppies deserve luxury-- and I am a very luxurious pup.

Since MP and I will be crashing with (ahem) friends during the install, we're going to have the bathroom redone at the same time.

After that, it's par-tay time!

It's a Draft Day Miracle!

Cam Fowler at #12... and now...

Emerson Etem at #29. Seriously! Number 29! He's a pure goal scorer with excellent speed. He's from the LBC!



Light it up, baby! We'll be waiting for you.

Oh My God Oh My God Oh My God

The idiots! The fools! The Ducks had the 12th pick in the NHL entry draft, and they snagged... Cam Fowler! Cam-Fucking-Fowler was passed over 11 times before the Ducks grabbed him. Who? What? That kid should have gone in the first five-- most people ranked him #3 overall...

I would like to thank the brain dead GMs and the people who say he isn't "physical" enough. Here's what we love:

Gooooooaaaaaaaaal! (Now Go Home!)

USA advances in the World Cup! Amazing game, great fun, now I would really like these bastards to get out of my house so I can go back to sleep. When will MP learn that 6am knocks are not to be answered? I don't care if the people have beer-- although the puppy treats were very thoughtful. We drank, we cheered, now we sleep!

Ahem! We sleep...!

Huh. Apparently, these people don't read my blog, because one of them is stating to make some noise in the kitchen. I smell eggs. I like eggs. Okay, you guys can stay.

1234 Get Your Woman on the Floor

The Pea says MP is a better dancer than most. I sniffed my tail for hitchhikers-- cause something wasn't right-- and said, "You mean better than you would think?" But the Pea insists that MP is a good dancer. I don't see it. I mean... I see it. I see it all over the damn place because MP doesn't have enough dignity to keep her booty shaking confined to the house or the club. Hell no. Bitch embarrasses me everywhere we go. She stood up and shook that thing on a bench at the pier; she stopped traffic by dancing down the middle of 2nd St; she bounced that booty down the rows at the street fair. Jesus, it's like living with a chick with Dancin' Tourette's.

Now that she's out of the cast and in a boot, she's perfected the crutch dance. It's like having a stripper pole around at all times.

I may never be able to show my face at the dog park again...

Everything Is Better with a Pinata

Now. I'm off to poop a papier mache sculpture of me surfing the big waves at my bathtub.

Huh, Huh, Uh... What?

Firegirl says MP has "way more reggae cds than anybody with a real job has a right to." True dat. But, in all fairness, she also has the entire collection of School House Rocks and at least three Sesame Street albums. Oh, Rubber Ducky, you are the one.

Come over for World Cup action this weekend if you're in the area. USA vs England starts at 11:30am, Saturday! If you need directions, toss an email to my FB. (Don't bother with MP's; she's a lousy host).

What Up, LB?

Thanks for another beautiful day at the beach! Sure, some may dis the marine layer, but they're not chilling in 72 degree afternoons. It's time for my puppy tanning session. MP says it makes me smell like corn chips, but I think she's just jealous that I can pull off the fuzzy butt look, and she can't.

The Wizard Was Not Just a Man

"Make a decision. Failure to act is often the biggest failure of all."
-- John Wooden  

He wasn't just about basketball or UCLA. We loved him because he was the layperson's philosopher: humble and focused finding the best in all of us, rather than wailing on the imperfections we  share. 

They Got You, Too!?

A few years ago, I tore my cruciate ligament. MP loved me so much that she paid for me to have a TPLO surgery at the best place around. I looked like this:

When MP came home from the orthopedic surgeon last Monday, I couldn't believe my eyes. They got her, too!


The swelling has gone down quite a bit, so her cast is more like a giant sock right now. But watch out for those aliens-- they're stealing legs and replacing them with pink fiberglass.

Oh, iTunes, You're an Expensive Mistress

But, seriously, American Express must love you as much as we do.

Sweet, Lovely, and Amazing

it's one of our favorites.

The Essential Question