i blame it on the crazy heat...
gallon of costco massage oil: $39.99
slip-n-slide: $12.99
7 adults and a puppy with too much time on their hands: priceless
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Good Times
days since aerobed was first inflated: 17
number of times i've jumped on and off: 5,987,420
imaginary waves surfed on airbed, hanging tail: 3,547
numbers of times mp has woken up saying, "lilly, this is not your trampoline:" 49
money well spent.
number of times i've jumped on and off: 5,987,420
imaginary waves surfed on airbed, hanging tail: 3,547
numbers of times mp has woken up saying, "lilly, this is not your trampoline:" 49
money well spent.
Pick One. Wheely.
after much debate, the great car caper has settled down, and an internal consensus has been reached.
that's what mp says; in reality, i tell her what to do, and i happen to love our car... so! mp will keep the crv for my nana to use when her car finally dies of old age (it's on life support right now, but she wants to hit 250,000 miles on the same engine before she sends it to a farm in the country to play with other hondas). after the 1 series comes out in the spring, mp will decide between the 135i and the 335i. we appreciate all of your input and support through this ambivalent time. seriously, mp is always like this about buying a new car; it's a testament to the chickapea's high sex drive that she hasn't ditched my person for a less-neurotic model. then again, the pea has a couple of bimmer's of her own, so she gets it.
no. she doesn't.
on the way to the meeting today, mp was following a caravan of future-model cars, all covered in their vinyl padding, flanked by escort trucks. unfortunately, her casual camera was broken in a particularly vicious game of backseat twister, so all she got were lousy camera phone shots.
that doesn't mean she wasn't jumping in her seat like a monkey at what appeared to be ford's response to the matrix and the fit and a large suv that looked like a filled out explorer.
we did try to get a clean shot of the car, but the escort vehicles were flanking it pretty tight and shot-blocking.
that's what mp says; in reality, i tell her what to do, and i happen to love our car... so! mp will keep the crv for my nana to use when her car finally dies of old age (it's on life support right now, but she wants to hit 250,000 miles on the same engine before she sends it to a farm in the country to play with other hondas). after the 1 series comes out in the spring, mp will decide between the 135i and the 335i. we appreciate all of your input and support through this ambivalent time. seriously, mp is always like this about buying a new car; it's a testament to the chickapea's high sex drive that she hasn't ditched my person for a less-neurotic model. then again, the pea has a couple of bimmer's of her own, so she gets it.
no. she doesn't.
on the way to the meeting today, mp was following a caravan of future-model cars, all covered in their vinyl padding, flanked by escort trucks. unfortunately, her casual camera was broken in a particularly vicious game of backseat twister, so all she got were lousy camera phone shots.
that doesn't mean she wasn't jumping in her seat like a monkey at what appeared to be ford's response to the matrix and the fit and a large suv that looked like a filled out explorer.
we did try to get a clean shot of the car, but the escort vehicles were flanking it pretty tight and shot-blocking.
Oh, They Grow Up So Fast
my person just did her first "speaker presentation" in a professional capacity. i'm so proud of her. she felt like she left a lot of things out (because she did), but people kept coming up to her congratulating her and telling her they'd learned a lot. dumping a liter of vodka in the water pitcher probably helped, but it was pretty cool nonetheless.
if someone had told mp a year ago that it was the start of the best year of her life, she would have called them a dirty name and (after i washed her mouth out with soap) gone back to moping. i'm still not postive how we got here, though i have an idea... all i know is that somehow we have always gotten what we need.
if someone had told mp a year ago that it was the start of the best year of her life, she would have called them a dirty name and (after i washed her mouth out with soap) gone back to moping. i'm still not postive how we got here, though i have an idea... all i know is that somehow we have always gotten what we need.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
Oh, Those Wacky Commercials
"if you feel trapped by frequent diarrhea, there's a fast way out..."
i'm just a puppy, but isn't this a little redundant?
i'm just a puppy, but isn't this a little redundant?
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Morning Karaoke, #5
"Suite: Judy Blue Eyes"
It's getting to the point
Where I'm no fun anymore
I am sorry.
Sometimes it hurts so badly
I must cry out loud
I am lonely.
I am yours, you are mine,
You are what you are
And you make it hard--
Remember what we've said, and done, and felt
about each other
Oh babe, have mercy.
Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now.
I am not dreaming.
I am yours, you are mine, you are what you are.
And you make it hard--
Tearing yourself away from me now,
You are free and I am crying.
This does not mean I don't love you,
I do, that's forever, and always.
I am yours, you are mine, you are what you are.
And you make it hard--
Something inside is telling me that
I've got your secret. Are you still listening?
Fear is the lock, and laughter the key to your heart.
And I love you.
I am yours, you are mine, you are what you are.
And you make it hard,
And you make it hard--
Friday evening, Sunday in the afternoon,
What have you got to lose?
Tuesday mornin', please be gone I'm tired of you.
Can I tell it like it is? Help me I'm sufferin'.
Listen to me baby--Help me I'm dyin'.
It's my heart that's a-sufferin', it's a dyin'.
That's what I have to lose.
I've got an answer
I'm going to fly away,
What have I got to lose?
Will you come see me Thursdays and Saturdays?
What have you got to lose?
Chestnut brown canary, ruby-throated sparrow.
Sing a song, don't be long.
Thrill me to the marrow.
Voices of the angels, ring around the moonlight.
Asking me, said she so free,
How can you catch the sparrow?
Lacy lilting lady, losing love lamenting,
Change my life, make it right.
Be my lady.
Que linda me la traiga Cuba,
La reina de la Mar Caribe.
Cielo sol no tiene sangre allí,
y que triste que no puedo vaya,
Oh va, oh va, va.
--Stephen Stills
It's getting to the point
Where I'm no fun anymore
I am sorry.
Sometimes it hurts so badly
I must cry out loud
I am lonely.
I am yours, you are mine,
You are what you are
And you make it hard--
Remember what we've said, and done, and felt
about each other
Oh babe, have mercy.
Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now.
I am not dreaming.
I am yours, you are mine, you are what you are.
And you make it hard--
Tearing yourself away from me now,
You are free and I am crying.
This does not mean I don't love you,
I do, that's forever, and always.
I am yours, you are mine, you are what you are.
And you make it hard--
Something inside is telling me that
I've got your secret. Are you still listening?
Fear is the lock, and laughter the key to your heart.
And I love you.
I am yours, you are mine, you are what you are.
And you make it hard,
And you make it hard--
Friday evening, Sunday in the afternoon,
What have you got to lose?
Tuesday mornin', please be gone I'm tired of you.
Can I tell it like it is? Help me I'm sufferin'.
Listen to me baby--Help me I'm dyin'.
It's my heart that's a-sufferin', it's a dyin'.
That's what I have to lose.
I've got an answer
I'm going to fly away,
What have I got to lose?
Will you come see me Thursdays and Saturdays?
What have you got to lose?
Chestnut brown canary, ruby-throated sparrow.
Sing a song, don't be long.
Thrill me to the marrow.
Voices of the angels, ring around the moonlight.
Asking me, said she so free,
How can you catch the sparrow?
Lacy lilting lady, losing love lamenting,
Change my life, make it right.
Be my lady.
Que linda me la traiga Cuba,
La reina de la Mar Caribe.
Cielo sol no tiene sangre allí,
y que triste que no puedo vaya,
Oh va, oh va, va.
--Stephen Stills
FYI
i learned a few things last night.
first, just because mp calls someone 'my baby chicken,' that does not make them food. i don't get this rule. chicken has always been tasty goodness, but when i bit this chicken, i got sent to my crate.
second, you shouldn't lick your chops every time two people kiss. trying to get your muzzle on up in there is frowned upon too. who knew? i thought it was a group activity.
third, scarves in the bedroom are not for tug-o-war. well, mp says that isn't always true, but she'll tell me when i'm older.
first, just because mp calls someone 'my baby chicken,' that does not make them food. i don't get this rule. chicken has always been tasty goodness, but when i bit this chicken, i got sent to my crate.
second, you shouldn't lick your chops every time two people kiss. trying to get your muzzle on up in there is frowned upon too. who knew? i thought it was a group activity.
third, scarves in the bedroom are not for tug-o-war. well, mp says that isn't always true, but she'll tell me when i'm older.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Sometime Taste is All in the Mouth
it's been pretty damn hot around here, so when my person needed to hop into a store for a second, she smuggled me in with her. i love the lbc, because people ignore the occasional fuzzy-muzzle-under-a-hat routine. in whittier... not so much. as we were completing our purchase, a walrus-man (trust me on this one) came up and said "undesirable" animals were not allowed. i couldn't let that shit go. i looked him straight in the face and said, "you stock that and call my person 'undesirable'?"
somewhere, buried in that mess, is a shirt.
i think.
somewhere, buried in that mess, is a shirt.
i think.
I Have Sinned
well, i haven't sinned. however, in response to the random emails (some prodding, some accusatoy, some with dirty pictures-- thank you, by the way) i will admit it. yes, mp has been slaking off. i've seen the complaints-- all four of them. (seriously, fourth reader, when did you show up? are you the one screwing up my stats?) apparently, my posts have lacked a certain entertainment value lately. my person has been slacking off. i admit it. she's been lazy, and it's because of her that my posts are neither witty nor regular. there's a certain symmetry in that, though, because irregularity is never... oh, wait; yes, it is.
i digress.
at some point, a few months ago, my person became the girl that other girls shop at victoria's secret for. i'm not sure how it happened (although it might, might, have something to do with the fact that mp lost more than two feet in circumference). all i know is that mp says it's bad manners not to tell a girl what you think of her new outfit and that every town needs a tramp. i guess she's out trying to help that poor girl.
i digress.
at some point, a few months ago, my person became the girl that other girls shop at victoria's secret for. i'm not sure how it happened (although it might, might, have something to do with the fact that mp lost more than two feet in circumference). all i know is that mp says it's bad manners not to tell a girl what you think of her new outfit and that every town needs a tramp. i guess she's out trying to help that poor girl.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Sunday, August 05, 2007
We Bought Tickets, Why?
in her previous life, when mp used to go to concerts and shows, she would look at empty seats scattered around sold-out events and wonder why people would buy tickets and not go.
now she knows.... and it is good.
anyone that wants to be on stand-by for the last half of the bowl season, email us. there's a lot of great stuff coming up that we probably won't be seeing. don't feel too bad for my person; she's doing just fine.
now she knows.... and it is good.
anyone that wants to be on stand-by for the last half of the bowl season, email us. there's a lot of great stuff coming up that we probably won't be seeing. don't feel too bad for my person; she's doing just fine.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Blah Blah
a "fledgling" is defined as a young bird whose feathers and muscles are newly developed, sometimes only enough to support short hops or flight. fledglings are no longer in the nest, but the birds' parents continue to feed them until they can fly.
that's an awful long definition for such tiny little birds. i, being a wise puppy, put forth my own:
fledgling: (n) good eatin'
that's an awful long definition for such tiny little birds. i, being a wise puppy, put forth my own:
fledgling: (n) good eatin'
Goodbye, Large Human
in an effort to create chaos and give the appearance that he's being proactive, kevin lowe (gm for the edmonton oilers) has been making ridiculously inflated offers for players in the offseason. the offers are ridiculous, because they are at least 30% over market value; the chaos comes from the impact such signings will have on the rest of the league next year, when players start saying, "i scored 43 goals! that guy only scored 24 and he is making 4 million a year!"
lowe will be lucky to keep his job longer than one more season, and it appears that his current moves are being made in the "if i can't have it, no one can" tradition of the jilted everywhere. if he does manage to float along into the 2008-2009 season, he will probably find himself drowning in his own smelly creation. the nhl has a salary cap for a reason; inflating salaries is ridiculous and self-destructive. put your mouth on the dotted line and blow away, little man; blow until your lungs explode.
the sabres took the bait and re-signed vanek; they had to. other general managers need to sit back and throw the hand brake. we love dustin penner. we've written about him, talked about him, and (once, after too much beer) drooled on him. he deserves more money. he is an outstanding physical presence with skill and smarts. if penner was to receive a reasonable offer, it would be around $5 million for three years-- maybe $6 million. kevin lowe offered penner $21.25 million for five years.
we love penner; the ducks love penner; the fans love penner.... and that is why we have to let him go.
if the ducks resign him at this over-inflated price (last year was his first full season in the nhl), it is entirely possible that the negative effects will be felt in the nhl for years-- further crippling a league that isn't exactly thriving. penner will understand; his love of the game is what got him past the thousands of stop signs that tried to convince him that he wasn't good enough to play pro hockey. the ducks should say "no. no, thank you" to matching the offer sheet, thank penner for everything he has contributed to the ducks, and wish him luck.
penner can then laugh his way to the bank and recognize that he will be making $4 million dollars a year to play a game he loves, because some desperate suit thought he could continue to force other teams to make bad decisions rather than make sound ones of his own. by not matching such a ridiculous offer, the ducks might throw up a dam against the flood of crap lowe has tried to bury the nhl in.
thank you, large human. we'll still cheer for you when you come to town.
lowe will be lucky to keep his job longer than one more season, and it appears that his current moves are being made in the "if i can't have it, no one can" tradition of the jilted everywhere. if he does manage to float along into the 2008-2009 season, he will probably find himself drowning in his own smelly creation. the nhl has a salary cap for a reason; inflating salaries is ridiculous and self-destructive. put your mouth on the dotted line and blow away, little man; blow until your lungs explode.
the sabres took the bait and re-signed vanek; they had to. other general managers need to sit back and throw the hand brake. we love dustin penner. we've written about him, talked about him, and (once, after too much beer) drooled on him. he deserves more money. he is an outstanding physical presence with skill and smarts. if penner was to receive a reasonable offer, it would be around $5 million for three years-- maybe $6 million. kevin lowe offered penner $21.25 million for five years.
we love penner; the ducks love penner; the fans love penner.... and that is why we have to let him go.
if the ducks resign him at this over-inflated price (last year was his first full season in the nhl), it is entirely possible that the negative effects will be felt in the nhl for years-- further crippling a league that isn't exactly thriving. penner will understand; his love of the game is what got him past the thousands of stop signs that tried to convince him that he wasn't good enough to play pro hockey. the ducks should say "no. no, thank you" to matching the offer sheet, thank penner for everything he has contributed to the ducks, and wish him luck.
penner can then laugh his way to the bank and recognize that he will be making $4 million dollars a year to play a game he loves, because some desperate suit thought he could continue to force other teams to make bad decisions rather than make sound ones of his own. by not matching such a ridiculous offer, the ducks might throw up a dam against the flood of crap lowe has tried to bury the nhl in.
thank you, large human. we'll still cheer for you when you come to town.
Friday, July 27, 2007
I Got Nothing
the pea's birfday is next week, and mp keeps asking for my opinion on what to get her. no matter what i suggest, it isn't good enough. "no, miz lilly, puppy cannoli isn't a good way to say 'happy birfday; thanks for letting me touch your special spots.' " clearly, mp doesn't know what she's talking about. for two of those, i'd let a tabby cat touch me. mp says it should be a little more mature.... she's already taking the pea to a show that night, but missa missa chickapea does little stuff for her all the time-- even though mp tells her not to. last saturday, there was a wrapped copy of harry potter waiting by the bed. hey! wait a second; it's not chocolate and pantyhose, but...
i'm gonna go have a talk with mp and try to find out what she really does for a living. in the meantime, if you have any suggestions about what she should get the pea, drop me a line. if it's good, i'll totally present the idea to my person like i came up with it all by myself, but it'll get me off of cookie restriction (something about being a smartass puppy when i told her to get the pea a nicer collar).
i'm gonna go have a talk with mp and try to find out what she really does for a living. in the meantime, if you have any suggestions about what she should get the pea, drop me a line. if it's good, i'll totally present the idea to my person like i came up with it all by myself, but it'll get me off of cookie restriction (something about being a smartass puppy when i told her to get the pea a nicer collar).
Kinga Da Castle, Kinga Da Castle
it looks like it's gonna be official. my person is going to have to buy a place ahead of schedule. i don't mind so much. sure, it'll cut down on my wiskers take-out, but i get my own room! at least, i do if my person knows what's good for her. the good news is that my person is fussy as hell and will only take the house that fits us. the bad news is that she can fix anything, so she'll probably try to convince me to let her buy something that requires a home depot card. then again, the chickapea is extremely handy and likes do-it-yourself projects; maybe this will get them to stop making out on the couch all the time.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Fucking Chipmunks
it was okay that theodore was a chubby chipmunk. he was also the naive-bordering-on-stupid one. coincidence?
my puppy self can over-look that transgression, but how anyone excuse the chipettes?
eleanore had to be fat, because theodore needed a hot-chipmunk-love-partner, and he could never get a britney.
luckily, tmz is always good for a reminder that britneys don't always stay hot. sometimes, they can't even get a theodore.
my puppy self can over-look that transgression, but how anyone excuse the chipettes?
eleanore had to be fat, because theodore needed a hot-chipmunk-love-partner, and he could never get a britney.
luckily, tmz is always good for a reminder that britneys don't always stay hot. sometimes, they can't even get a theodore.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Bad Homo
sometimes my person gets terribly out of line. the chickapea can handle most of it; i think she's got mp pretty well trained.... however, there are times when mp needs a little discipline. i suggested that the pea make her write standards.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
"take off your clothes" is not foreplay.
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