Saturday, June 05, 2010

What Up, LB?






Thanks for another beautiful day at the beach! Sure, some may dis the marine layer, but they're not chilling in 72 degree afternoons. It's time for my puppy tanning session. MP says it makes me smell like corn chips, but I think she's just jealous that I can pull off the fuzzy butt look, and she can't.

The Wizard Was Not Just a Man

"Make a decision. Failure to act is often the biggest failure of all."
-- John Wooden  

He wasn't just about basketball or UCLA. We loved him because he was the layperson's philosopher: humble and focused finding the best in all of us, rather than wailing on the imperfections we  share. 

Monday, May 31, 2010

They Got You, Too!?

A few years ago, I tore my cruciate ligament. MP loved me so much that she paid for me to have a TPLO surgery at the best place around. I looked like this:

When MP came home from the orthopedic surgeon last Monday, I couldn't believe my eyes. They got her, too!


The swelling has gone down quite a bit, so her cast is more like a giant sock right now. But watch out for those aliens-- they're stealing legs and replacing them with pink fiberglass.

Oh, iTunes, You're an Expensive Mistress

But, seriously, American Express must love you as much as we do.

Sweet, Lovely, and Amazing



it's one of our favorites.

Friday, May 21, 2010

The Essential Question

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Where's My Tool Belt?

the great kitchen remodel gets under way friday. i'm pretty excited because mp promised to give me a whole shelf for my kibble and cookies. we're going for a pull-out pantry, and some sweet corner cabinets with pull-out drawers and built-in lazy susans. even better? mp is paying for it, so i don't have to bust out the fishnets like i did when we had crown moulding installed.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

"Life Goes Easy On Me..."

Most of the Time.

My Boyfriend is Ever So Dreamy

his name? it's george. george glass!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

3 Years, 3 Weeks, and 3 Days Later

MP: So. I was thinking... maybe you could leave more than a toothbrush here... if you want.

PEA: You mean something fancy? Hairbrush and deodorant, too?

MP: Maybe even panties and a shirt. No pants, though. That's moving too fast.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Please, Oh Please...



Let this replace American Idol.

Fuck You, Mice!

i will have you. i will eat you!

every night, when mp goes to bed, i keep watch to ensure you stay hidden, sucking the poison that will eradicate your very souls! okay, i'm a dramatic puppy. it's the chihuahua in me. but seriously: suck it, mice. by the time mp gets up, i'm so tired that all i can do is walk over to her, kiss her hello, and then flop onto my bed-- snoring.

mp says it's the price we pay for living between wetlands, the ocean, and a bay... but i still want you dead.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

HaHaHaHaHaHa



the pea says we should feel bad for boyle. i say, "suck it, sharks!"

Friday, March 26, 2010

Secrets and Thighs

No matter what a girls says she'll do to you in exchange, watching New Moon is not worth it. It'll make anything done after feel dirty and meaningless because you sacrificed your soul and 120 minutes of your life to get it. And what the hell are you doing with the kind of girl that wants to see it, anyway? Oh. She's really hot? Well, just make sure the shutters are closed so the neighbors don't judge you.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Love

every morning, when i wake up, i give mp a kiss. she may say, "oh, puppy, that's way too much tongue" and "aaah! puppy slobber in my eye!" but i know she really likes it.

every single day, when mp gets home, she pays attention to me first. it doesn't matter what she's carrying, if she has company, if she has to pee really bad... every time we see each other after we've been apart, she loves on me and tells me i'm the most wonderful puppy in the world (obviously, this is because i am).

at night, when it's time for bed, mp calls me to our room. if i'm too tired to get off the couch and crawl under the covers with her, she picks me up gently and carries me.

we love each other.

Friday, March 19, 2010

June

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Everybody Makes Mistakes

i've been having some tummy issues... i eated lots of grass and pooped a few sculptures before nana went out... but...

mp found it when she came to pick me up after work. i was so embarrassed that i couldn't look her in the face. oh, the indignity. the sheer horror of having to admit the smelly things came from me. but mp said, "it's okay, puppy. everybody makes mistakes." a few handfuls of toilet paper, several flushes, and a bit of air fresheners later, and the evidence was gone. and then, she cuddled me in her lap and explained that she knows i'm a good girl that would never do something bad if there was any way around it. then, she showed me this:



ironically, she heard about this video on kevin & bean the morning of my terrible accident.
everybody makes mistakes, indeed.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Slower, Sweeter, and Dirtier

What no Kiss?!


US hockey has had it's way with Kips 4 times in 10 minutes. I hope we at least have the manners to call him in the morning and thank him for a good time.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Say Fleas!



mp asked me what i was dreaming about to make me smile like that. i told her i was thinking about our last trip to the park...
but i was really thinking about the lab down the street.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

It's Time, It's Time, It's Time!

US v Canada starts in 3 minutes! and to get you in the mood... SHRIMP FRIED RICE!

My Super Power





i can sleep anywhere.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Guilty Pleasures #2



...oh, for so many reasons.



we're laughing with you.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Wednesday Swing Time!



yeah, it's a little early, but mp and i just got back from dancing on the bluff... and we feel goooood!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Dirty, Crazy Fun

CHP: has your life just been one g-damn party for the last four years?
MP: yes, yes, it has.
CHP: so... you do all the ridiculous crap you do...
MP: ...and have a career, a beach house, money, and filthy sex. right.
CHP: I fucking hate you.
MP: but wait! I have a registered offender stalking me. that's not good. it's why you're bringing me oc spray, remember?
CHP: I'm about to use the spray on you.
MP: just leave your extra set of cuffs; the pea's coming over later.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

All Play and No Work...

makes me a happy pup.

Friday, January 29, 2010

I Blame it on Kevin and Bean

there are places to report child porn.
why aren't there places to report fucking disgusting?

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Sunshine

Monday, January 18, 2010

I Snore Like a Friggin Teamster

but my person loves me anyway.

Go Ducks!

the wins aren't always pretty, but we're getting some points. last night, the entire honda center was on its feet until the last second. for the record, mp made the pea walk in the rain both ways... but gave her our umbrella, so my person sat, soaking wet and freezing the whole game. lucky for us, the pea knows how to make it all better.

this is chipchura in the first period. he's been playing solid and knows how to stand up for the team. don't let all the blood fool you-- he won this bout.

Monday, January 04, 2010

Inconceivable

i still can't believe all the amazing footage that was deleted from the theatrical release of HP 5, but this omission is egregious...

Guilty Pleasures #1



oh, i'm a dirty, dirty pup... but i got no shame.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Rubber Soul

it's always been one of our favorite albums... album... the whole concept thing. too many people forget to connect the dots in great music, but this short, sweet, sad album makes it impossible to listen without wistful melancholy. and absolute joy.

merry christmas.



"There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more."

Sunday, December 13, 2009

If You Forget Me

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

-- Pablo Neruda

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Uh... Oh... I, Uh...

i don't know which horrifies me more-- that firegirl has this cd... or that she got mp to sing the harmony part with her while they made tamales.



and for more amusement, here are more songs mp knew the words to:





although i admit i like the last one...

Friday, December 04, 2009

When You Know What Matters...

shiny things don't turn your head. after all, women don't care if you're beautiful; they care that they feel beautiful when they're with you.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Best Four Minutes of Any Movie



we love this because... well, you know why. don't you?

Saturday, November 14, 2009

One of Our Favorites

it says a lot when a song is almost impossible to fuck up.

Friday, November 06, 2009

The Crazy Always Comes Out



congratulations to elizabeth lambert for becoming the youtube video people cringe at more than the one with the MMA player's compound fracture flapping in the wind. i'm sure her parents are proud.

Say it Ain't So

my person knew her priorities were skewed when she compared unwrapping Uncharted 2 and starting the multiplayer for the first time to sliding a hot girls panties down her thighs after chasing her for a year. but... oh, yeah. it was that good. it's been two weeks since we finished the game, and pressing drake's buttons still excites us.

the pea is flying back in tonight, and supergirl and shay-zam! will be keeping mp busy on saturday... but this afternoon will be filled with online goodness.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Wolf Like ME



oh, TV on the Radio, you deserve to be revered.

Killing Moon Time!

Thursday, October 08, 2009

One Bad Date and a Compliment

that's how close shay-zam says my person is to closing the deal.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Shay-Zam

if she had a gay bone in her body, it would be my person's.
they would be married with 6 kids by now.
fucking hetero genes!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Another Beautiful Day at the Beach



my person is chillin' with me, the sky is blue, the ocean breeze is fluttering through our windows, and i can hear the honk of the ships floating into the harbor. the pea lives three blocks one way; pimptress lives four blocks in the other. when we have our shutters open, the entire world is ours to view. at night, we close the bottom half, but leave open the top, and we have a cozy, private home.

this is our life.

how the heck did we ever get so lucky?

Monday, August 31, 2009

Neglected but Lovely







...And to Love You

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Bring That Deliciousness Closer!

it was 111 at some point in our travels today.



and all we could think about were delicious trader joe's fruit floes, the fact that the pea will be landing back in town tonight, and the tasty delights that could happen if we put those two things together....

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

It's Almost Christmas!

well, it's almost time for our season tickets to arrive. this year, we have upgraded and four-- oh, yeah, four-- seats belong to us all season. that's a lotta dates, yo. if you wanna go to a game or two, let mp know. we're planning on dragging the pimptress, the pea, superman, bubba, and bruinista to as many face-offs as they can take.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Like a Book

unlike tony, it's working again.

Summa Summa Summa-time!

mp's break is almost over, but in a week we go tenure-track, baby! no more flying down freeways; no more praying for gigs; no more late nights followed by early mornings. (well... not for work, anyway.) mp gets a chance to study her craft, develop more effective methods, and have a fucking blast with the best coworkers around.

in the meantime, i'm helping her enjoy the beach pad to the fullest. today, we walked down to the water and played a little living room bowl-a-thon-- followed by people watching and an afternoon nap.



tomorrow, mp is patching the plaster in our walk-in closet so she can paint it and install the new closet organizers this weekend.

When One Fire Extinguisher Isn't Enough

we got our cookware today. stainless steel, copper bottoms, glass lids... beautiful. i can't wait or mp to burn our first dinner in it.

a preview of things to come:





Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Like a Book

the following is not really suitable for work... unless you're tony.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Strike! Strike! Strike!

mp took the chickapea to sevilla's for birthday tapas and a pitcher of sangria.



there was delicious food, great live music, and a view.



the tramp had the audacity to stumble back home the day next around 2pm.

where are my tapas? where is my delicious chicken ajillo? where's my wine-soaked orange?

here's a better question, mp: where are your favorite shoes? huh? think you'll be seeing those again any time soon? oh, that's right. now, look in the closet. i left a sup-pr-eyes for you. i hope you wished for poopy this year, because i'm on strike and my puppy manners are going with me if you think you'll be leaving me home with nana the next time you go out carousing. we roll together, or i slap the training wheels back on you, biatch!

anyway.

cafe sevilla has really turned itself around from the lousy, obnoxious place that first opened in the lb. now, the service is courteous, management takes concerted measures to make sure everyone is happy, and the music is no longer sub-par. the food was exceptionally good and the wine a perfect balance of sweet and strong. even better for us, we can walk there (and back), so my buzzed mp can serenade everyone on the way. those tourists were very impressed with her "i'm crossing the street" dance.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Norm(al)! Again

mp hit the road & gym for the fist time since the great mononucleosis caper ended. it was like walking into the neighborhood bar, but (you know) with machines and sweaty people. the same people that we used to see every morning were tossing out the welcome backs and high fives all morning. now, we feel great-- withe exception of triceps that will be feelin' it tomorrow.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Magnificent Mandarin and the Nappybear Express

the sofa co didn't know what hit them when i came in...

any puppy of discriminating taste and high luxury must try every sofa. just because i leave a little drool doesn't mean they gotta hate.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Start a Revolution

it's time to open your eyes. the slaughterhouse door is open, and the saws are being legislated as you sleep.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Countdown to Gomez



5 days

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Stay Outta My Kishen

we're going to look for new cabinets in the morning.

hopefully, we'll be more successful than mp was at finding her pants last night.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Hello, Ruby

i finally wore mp down, so she took me to costco and let me pick out a tv. i tried to sneak out with the 55", but she talked me down off that ledge. as soon as we got home, i started whining about cable. oh, yeah. i did it. after almost a year, mp finally broke down and got cable and a 40" flat screen for the beach pad. now, if i can just get her to buy me that mini cooper i have my eye on...

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Best GIG Ever

the "grass is greener" syndrome left us covered in crap... and that fertilizer stuck (and stunk) for a while, but now our side of the fence is freakin' lush, secure, and greener than a leprechaun's thong, baby!

i can't believe how magic this year was. mp pulled off the impossible, and now we're on the cusp of absolute security and stability-- doing the best job in the world. tenure is a beautiful thing.

here's to three years of joy, passion, advancement, friendship, maturity, fulfillment, and adventure.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Our First Appliance


we decided to go white or natural maple when we get new cabinets and put in stainless steel appliances. here's thor, our new refrigerator. he came with a lot of shelves that needed to be unpacked, but now he's a shiny chillin' machine. he's also great with the ladies that decide they need to check themselves out as they walk by. that's right; you know you want to touch it.

Seriously Phallic 6

the first set of pictures would take a long time to explain... but homework for another class should never take place in ours. unless, of course, it's this damn funny.







this rust stain was in front of the building mp was in this summer. she giggled every time she walked past it. one would think my person would get over it... but, nope. still funny.

Jojo and Jimmy Got Married!!!


I can't wait to tell their babies how mommy met daddy. Hopefully, they'll start working on those soon. Besides Vic, I mean...

The Bedroom Pt 2






It's getting there. The bookcase and chair add a lot to the room.

This week, mp will rip out the walk-in closet, paint it chocolate, and install our new built-ins. I can't believe this is the same room.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Things She Does to Get Laid

mp took the chickapea to the coldplay concert last night. say what you want about the band (and, uh, after last night i won't be saying much...), those coldplay fans are intense. that crowd had the most energy that we've seen at a show in at least a decade. this, of course, took away attention from chris martin's vocals, and that was a very good thing indeed.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Nooo!

my sammy went to the 'jackets. that must be why my whiskers feel so wet and cold.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Phallacies - High Five!

so, mp and i were driving home when this big work truck cut us off.



i started to get my whiskers in a knot about it, but mp started laughing so hard that other drivers were staring. i looked a little closer...



even the sun thought this guy was a dick.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Best Seats in the House

the anaheim ducks select-a-seat was today, and we upgraded! now, we have four-- oh, yeah, four-- seats in a better spot, about half way closer to the ice. life is sweet!

the best seats in the house? our seats.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

"Do I Dare Disturb the Universe?"

the crazy month is over.
we are still adjunct.
kuny has a cup.
summer session is a blast.
in four weeks, we'll begin spending two months chilling at the beach.
...and it's all good.

"do i dare to eat a peach?"
sweet, soft, and messy?

bring it.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

...and Then There Were Six

welcome to equality, new hampshire.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Well, Shake Me Like A Monkey


Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King is a lovely farewell.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Thanks, Governator!

your keen leadership and financial acuity have resolved the...
oh, wait. right. well, thanks for saving me that $35 in car registration. that's totally worth the more than $4 billion dollars debt we accrued because of it.
guess whose person is unemployed in 6 weeks? mandatory vacation... and... unemployment benefits. guess the state is paying one way or another. wouldn't it be cool if they were paying us to actually work?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Sunday Morning

woke up. licked ass. kissed mp. drank water. dripped drool/water combo on mp's face. went outside. peed. used tongue as hygiene appliance. kissed mp again. thought about brushing teeth. ate kibble instead. left crumbs and drool on mp's sheets. thanked mp for the kibble with a healthy burp in the face. ducked. ran. got texted compliment from the pea's cousin. realized i'm far too good looking for my owner. guilted mp into rubbing my belly. took nap. it's a rigorous schedule, but i'm up to the challenge.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Pimptress and the Pea

pimptress likes our chickapea. we kinda figured she would... everyone does.

that just makes us feel even more guilty.

The Bedroom

is starting to look like a bedroom.

we've gone from this...





to light coffee walls, refinished wood floors, new crown and base molding, and (ahem) our very first bed.
that's right. mp and i now have our own bed.




it's still in progress, but... it's getting awesome. our bedding is on order and should be ready for breaking in soon.



in the meantime, the pea better get used to this view.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Uh... Right, Then



this is so funny, it should be illegal.

Girl Meets Hammer



$400-700 to remove kitchen cabinets?

how about a lesbian, a hammer, and a $15 pry bar.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Phallacies #4



spicier than i like it

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Hey, Sweet Cheeks



we're coming for you.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Honkin' the Shortbus #1

occasionally, people do manage to surprise me.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

The Boys Are Coming Home...

tied at 1-1.


let's go ducks!



"barbaric"? have the versus commentators watched much hockey?

elbow down. stick down. feet on the ice. that's a clean hit. the most that can be argued is that brown hit hudler a bit late, but even that is marginal. hudler cut his own face on his shield, and it was nowhere near the point of contact with brown.

now, the hit kronwall put on ryan carter... that's a dirty hit. but, i think the boys are used to sitting in the box after dives and playing hard without focusing on the non-calls. sometimes reputation matters more than what happens on the ice.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Game 5 in 21 hours

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Sunday, April 19, 2009

Into a Nap...






a little puppy must fall.

it's hot, but i'm here to support mp's painting career. what? that's not a career? then why the hell are we doing it for every woman that asks? have you seen my ear? seriously, butter yellow semi-gloss isn't a good look for me.

Let's Go Ducks!

face off is at 7pm.

we're hunting shark!

The First Time

this week, the pea will be babysitting me.

mp has never let anyone she dates take care of me.

i think this must be my new stepmom.

Half Blind

as mp's eye heals, she's been getting a lot of pirate jokes.

yes, she wears aaaargh-yle.

yes, she drives a caaaargh.

yes, she knows all the booty jokes.

what hurts the most is having people try to excuse her love of sandra oh with blindness. dude. that woman is hot. now, make like a squirrel and get off our nuts!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Getting Better All the Time





the colors don't really come through in this photo, but the overall effect is awesome. after mp was done with the accent wall, she called the pea and made her come over after work. then they just kinda sat on the couch, making out, to see if it was "a relaxing environment." i'm going to need a lot of therapy... so i'd say they were pretty relaxed.

the living room is gorgeous. our bedroom will be done by the end of the weekend. after that, it's time to gut the kitchen.

the awesome part: next weekend is grand prix weekend, and we'll be ready to roll.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Let's Go Ducks!



our playoff strips are here! now all we need is to get the guys to the playoffs.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Suite!



now, it's time for crown molding, baseboards, and the accent wall.

mp was so proud of me today. i only barked at one person, and my whiskers were only a teeny bit blue.

Brendan Mikkelson Sucks

yeah... that's about it.

we need you back, franky!