What no Kiss?!

US hockey has had it's way with Kips 4 times in 10 minutes. I hope we at least have the manners to call him in the morning and thank him for a good time.

Say Fleas!

mp asked me what i was dreaming about to make me smile like that. i told her i was thinking about our last trip to the park...
but i was really thinking about the lab down the street.

It's Time, It's Time, It's Time!

US v Canada starts in 3 minutes! and to get you in the mood... SHRIMP FRIED RICE!

My Super Power

i can sleep anywhere.

Guilty Pleasures #2

...oh, for so many reasons.



we're laughing with you.

Wednesday Swing Time!

yeah, it's a little early, but mp and i just got back from dancing on the bluff... and we feel goooood!

Dirty, Crazy Fun

CHP: has your life just been one g-damn party for the last four years?
MP: yes, yes, it has.
CHP: so... you do all the ridiculous crap you do...
MP: ...and have a career, a beach house, money, and filthy sex. right.
CHP: I fucking hate you.
MP: but wait! I have a registered offender stalking me. that's not good. it's why you're bringing me oc spray, remember?
CHP: I'm about to use the spray on you.
MP: just leave your extra set of cuffs; the pea's coming over later.

All Play and No Work...

makes me a happy pup.

I Blame it on Kevin and Bean

there are places to report child porn.
why aren't there places to report fucking disgusting?

Sunshine

I Snore Like a Friggin Teamster

but my person loves me anyway.

Go Ducks!

the wins aren't always pretty, but we're getting some points. last night, the entire honda center was on its feet until the last second. for the record, mp made the pea walk in the rain both ways... but gave her our umbrella, so my person sat, soaking wet and freezing the whole game. lucky for us, the pea knows how to make it all better.

this is chipchura in the first period. he's been playing solid and knows how to stand up for the team. don't let all the blood fool you-- he won this bout.

Inconceivable

i still can't believe all the amazing footage that was deleted from the theatrical release of HP 5, but this omission is egregious...

Guilty Pleasures #1

oh, i'm a dirty, dirty pup... but i got no shame.

Rubber Soul

it's always been one of our favorite albums... album... the whole concept thing. too many people forget to connect the dots in great music, but this short, sweet, sad album makes it impossible to listen without wistful melancholy. and absolute joy.

merry christmas.

"There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more."

If You Forget Me

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

-- Pablo Neruda

Uh... Oh... I, Uh...

i don't know which horrifies me more-- that firegirl has this cd... or that she got mp to sing the harmony part with her while they made tamales.



and for more amusement, here are more songs mp knew the words to:





although i admit i like the last one...

When You Know What Matters...

shiny things don't turn your head. after all, women don't care if you're beautiful; they care that they feel beautiful when they're with you.

Best Four Minutes of Any Movie

we love this because... well, you know why. don't you?

One of Our Favorites

it says a lot when a song is almost impossible to fuck up.

The Crazy Always Comes Out

congratulations to elizabeth lambert for becoming the youtube video people cringe at more than the one with the MMA player's compound fracture flapping in the wind. i'm sure her parents are proud.

Say it Ain't So

my person knew her priorities were skewed when she compared unwrapping Uncharted 2 and starting the multiplayer for the first time to sliding a hot girls panties down her thighs after chasing her for a year. but... oh, yeah. it was that good. it's been two weeks since we finished the game, and pressing drake's buttons still excites us.

the pea is flying back in tonight, and supergirl and shay-zam! will be keeping mp busy on saturday... but this afternoon will be filled with online goodness.

Wolf Like ME

oh, TV on the Radio, you deserve to be revered.

Killing Moon Time!

One Bad Date and a Compliment

that's how close shay-zam says my person is to closing the deal.

Shay-Zam

if she had a gay bone in her body, it would be my person's.
they would be married with 6 kids by now.
fucking hetero genes!

Another Beautiful Day at the Beach

my person is chillin' with me, the sky is blue, the ocean breeze is fluttering through our windows, and i can hear the honk of the ships floating into the harbor. the pea lives three blocks one way; pimptress lives four blocks in the other. when we have our shutters open, the entire world is ours to view. at night, we close the bottom half, but leave open the top, and we have a cozy, private home.

this is our life.

how the heck did we ever get so lucky?

Neglected but Lovely

...And to Love You

Bring That Deliciousness Closer!

it was 111 at some point in our travels today.



and all we could think about were delicious trader joe's fruit floes, the fact that the pea will be landing back in town tonight, and the tasty delights that could happen if we put those two things together....

It's Almost Christmas!

well, it's almost time for our season tickets to arrive. this year, we have upgraded and four-- oh, yeah, four-- seats belong to us all season. that's a lotta dates, yo. if you wanna go to a game or two, let mp know. we're planning on dragging the pimptress, the pea, superman, bubba, and bruinista to as many face-offs as they can take.

Like a Book

unlike tony, it's working again.

Antonio Villaraigosa: "Like a Mayor" - watch more funny videos

Summa Summa Summa-time!

mp's break is almost over, but in a week we go tenure-track, baby! no more flying down freeways; no more praying for gigs; no more late nights followed by early mornings. (well... not for work, anyway.) mp gets a chance to study her craft, develop more effective methods, and have a fucking blast with the best coworkers around.

in the meantime, i'm helping her enjoy the beach pad to the fullest. today, we walked down to the water and played a little living room bowl-a-thon-- followed by people watching and an afternoon nap.



tomorrow, mp is patching the plaster in our walk-in closet so she can paint it and install the new closet organizers this weekend.

When One Fire Extinguisher Isn't Enough

we got our cookware today. stainless steel, copper bottoms, glass lids... beautiful. i can't wait or mp to burn our first dinner in it.

a preview of things to come:

Like a Book

the following is not really suitable for work... unless you're tony.

Antonio Villaraigosa: "Like a Mayor" - watch more funny videos

Strike! Strike! Strike!

mp took the chickapea to sevilla's for birthday tapas and a pitcher of sangria.



there was delicious food, great live music, and a view.



the tramp had the audacity to stumble back home the day next around 2pm.

where are my tapas? where is my delicious chicken ajillo? where's my wine-soaked orange?

here's a better question, mp: where are your favorite shoes? huh? think you'll be seeing those again any time soon? oh, that's right. now, look in the closet. i left a sup-pr-eyes for you. i hope you wished for poopy this year, because i'm on strike and my puppy manners are going with me if you think you'll be leaving me home with nana the next time you go out carousing. we roll together, or i slap the training wheels back on you, biatch!

anyway.

cafe sevilla has really turned itself around from the lousy, obnoxious place that first opened in the lb. now, the service is courteous, management takes concerted measures to make sure everyone is happy, and the music is no longer sub-par. the food was exceptionally good and the wine a perfect balance of sweet and strong. even better for us, we can walk there (and back), so my buzzed mp can serenade everyone on the way. those tourists were very impressed with her "i'm crossing the street" dance.

Norm(al)! Again

mp hit the road & gym for the fist time since the great mononucleosis caper ended. it was like walking into the neighborhood bar, but (you know) with machines and sweaty people. the same people that we used to see every morning were tossing out the welcome backs and high fives all morning. now, we feel great-- withe exception of triceps that will be feelin' it tomorrow.

Magnificent Mandarin and the Nappybear Express

the sofa co didn't know what hit them when i came in...

any puppy of discriminating taste and high luxury must try every sofa. just because i leave a little drool doesn't mean they gotta hate.

Start a Revolution

it's time to open your eyes. the slaughterhouse door is open, and the saws are being legislated as you sleep.

Countdown to Gomez

5 days

Stay Outta My Kishen

we're going to look for new cabinets in the morning.

hopefully, we'll be more successful than mp was at finding her pants last night.

Hello, Ruby

i finally wore mp down, so she took me to costco and let me pick out a tv. i tried to sneak out with the 55", but she talked me down off that ledge. as soon as we got home, i started whining about cable. oh, yeah. i did it. after almost a year, mp finally broke down and got cable and a 40" flat screen for the beach pad. now, if i can just get her to buy me that mini cooper i have my eye on...

Best GIG Ever

the "grass is greener" syndrome left us covered in crap... and that fertilizer stuck (and stunk) for a while, but now our side of the fence is freakin' lush, secure, and greener than a leprechaun's thong, baby!

i can't believe how magic this year was. mp pulled off the impossible, and now we're on the cusp of absolute security and stability-- doing the best job in the world. tenure is a beautiful thing.

here's to three years of joy, passion, advancement, friendship, maturity, fulfillment, and adventure.

Our First Appliance

we decided to go white or natural maple when we get new cabinets and put in stainless steel appliances. here's thor, our new refrigerator. he came with a lot of shelves that needed to be unpacked, but now he's a shiny chillin' machine. he's also great with the ladies that decide they need to check themselves out as they walk by. that's right; you know you want to touch it.

Seriously Phallic 6

the first set of pictures would take a long time to explain... but homework for another class should never take place in ours. unless, of course, it's this damn funny.







this rust stain was in front of the building mp was in this summer. she giggled every time she walked past it. one would think my person would get over it... but, nope. still funny.

Jojo and Jimmy Got Married!!!

I can't wait to tell their babies how mommy met daddy. Hopefully, they'll start working on those soon. Besides Vic, I mean...

The Bedroom Pt 2

It's getting there. The bookcase and chair add a lot to the room.

This week, mp will rip out the walk-in closet, paint it chocolate, and install our new built-ins. I can't believe this is the same room.

The Things She Does to Get Laid

mp took the chickapea to the coldplay concert last night. say what you want about the band (and, uh, after last night i won't be saying much...), those coldplay fans are intense. that crowd had the most energy that we've seen at a show in at least a decade. this, of course, took away attention from chris martin's vocals, and that was a very good thing indeed.

Nooo!

my sammy went to the 'jackets. that must be why my whiskers feel so wet and cold.

Phallacies - High Five!

so, mp and i were driving home when this big work truck cut us off.



i started to get my whiskers in a knot about it, but mp started laughing so hard that other drivers were staring. i looked a little closer...



even the sun thought this guy was a dick.

Best Seats in the House

the anaheim ducks select-a-seat was today, and we upgraded! now, we have four-- oh, yeah, four-- seats in a better spot, about half way closer to the ice. life is sweet!

the best seats in the house? our seats.

"Do I Dare Disturb the Universe?"

the crazy month is over.
we are still adjunct.
kuny has a cup.
summer session is a blast.
in four weeks, we'll begin spending two months chilling at the beach.
...and it's all good.

"do i dare to eat a peach?"
sweet, soft, and messy?

bring it.

...and Then There Were Six

welcome to equality, new hampshire.

Well, Shake Me Like A Monkey

Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King is a lovely farewell.

Thanks, Governator!

your keen leadership and financial acuity have resolved the...
oh, wait. right. well, thanks for saving me that $35 in car registration. that's totally worth the more than $4 billion dollars debt we accrued because of it.
guess whose person is unemployed in 6 weeks? mandatory vacation... and... unemployment benefits. guess the state is paying one way or another. wouldn't it be cool if they were paying us to actually work?

Sunday Morning

woke up. licked ass. kissed mp. drank water. dripped drool/water combo on mp's face. went outside. peed. used tongue as hygiene appliance. kissed mp again. thought about brushing teeth. ate kibble instead. left crumbs and drool on mp's sheets. thanked mp for the kibble with a healthy burp in the face. ducked. ran. got texted compliment from the pea's cousin. realized i'm far too good looking for my owner. guilted mp into rubbing my belly. took nap. it's a rigorous schedule, but i'm up to the challenge.

The Pimptress and the Pea

pimptress likes our chickapea. we kinda figured she would... everyone does.

that just makes us feel even more guilty.

The Bedroom

is starting to look like a bedroom.

we've gone from this...





to light coffee walls, refinished wood floors, new crown and base molding, and (ahem) our very first bed.
that's right. mp and i now have our own bed.




it's still in progress, but... it's getting awesome. our bedding is on order and should be ready for breaking in soon.



in the meantime, the pea better get used to this view.

Uh... Right, Then

this is so funny, it should be illegal.

Girl Meets Hammer

$400-700 to remove kitchen cabinets?

how about a lesbian, a hammer, and a $15 pry bar.

Phallacies #4

spicier than i like it

Hey, Sweet Cheeks

we're coming for you.

Honkin' the Shortbus #1

occasionally, people do manage to surprise me.

The Boys Are Coming Home...

tied at 1-1.


let's go ducks!



"barbaric"? have the versus commentators watched much hockey?

elbow down. stick down. feet on the ice. that's a clean hit. the most that can be argued is that brown hit hudler a bit late, but even that is marginal. hudler cut his own face on his shield, and it was nowhere near the point of contact with brown.

now, the hit kronwall put on ryan carter... that's a dirty hit. but, i think the boys are used to sitting in the box after dives and playing hard without focusing on the non-calls. sometimes reputation matters more than what happens on the ice.

Game 5 in 21 hours

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Into a Nap...

a little puppy must fall.

it's hot, but i'm here to support mp's painting career. what? that's not a career? then why the hell are we doing it for every woman that asks? have you seen my ear? seriously, butter yellow semi-gloss isn't a good look for me.

Let's Go Ducks!

face off is at 7pm.

we're hunting shark!

The First Time

this week, the pea will be babysitting me.

mp has never let anyone she dates take care of me.

i think this must be my new stepmom.

Half Blind

as mp's eye heals, she's been getting a lot of pirate jokes.

yes, she wears aaaargh-yle.

yes, she drives a caaaargh.

yes, she knows all the booty jokes.

what hurts the most is having people try to excuse her love of sandra oh with blindness. dude. that woman is hot. now, make like a squirrel and get off our nuts!

Getting Better All the Time

the colors don't really come through in this photo, but the overall effect is awesome. after mp was done with the accent wall, she called the pea and made her come over after work. then they just kinda sat on the couch, making out, to see if it was "a relaxing environment." i'm going to need a lot of therapy... so i'd say they were pretty relaxed.

the living room is gorgeous. our bedroom will be done by the end of the weekend. after that, it's time to gut the kitchen.

the awesome part: next weekend is grand prix weekend, and we'll be ready to roll.

Let's Go Ducks!

our playoff strips are here! now all we need is to get the guys to the playoffs.

Suite!

now, it's time for crown molding, baseboards, and the accent wall.

mp was so proud of me today. i only barked at one person, and my whiskers were only a teeny bit blue.

Brendan Mikkelson Sucks

yeah... that's about it.

we need you back, franky!

I'm Gorgeous!

mp gave me a bath today and put my new summer outfit on me. it's so pretty... and it goes with our new home in both theme and color.

Primed and Ready

after a slight mix up, golden west shutters got the kitchen shutter made and installed in less than a week. the installer is one of the nicest, most efficient people in the world. he's also very gay-boy hot. the new look changes the kitchen so much that mp is considering refacing the cabinets, rather than completely gutting the kitchen.



in addition, the living room is primed, the ceiling is painted, the paint is purchased, and mp has a half schedule this week. we're getting there!

So... Uh, Thanks

one night with the pea has turned into two years with the pea.

it's kind of weird to think about it, but my person isn't pressured so all three of us are happy. well... maybe mp could be a little smoother. "hey. guess what... you've been putting up with me for two years. thanks. :-) " probably isn't the most romantic gesture. then again, it's better than last weekend when she clubbed the girl and dragged her back to our cave.

More Phal-lacies

god love the pimptress.