Seriously Phallic 6

the first set of pictures would take a long time to explain... but homework for another class should never take place in ours. unless, of course, it's this damn funny.







this rust stain was in front of the building mp was in this summer. she giggled every time she walked past it. one would think my person would get over it... but, nope. still funny.

Jojo and Jimmy Got Married!!!

I can't wait to tell their babies how mommy met daddy. Hopefully, they'll start working on those soon. Besides Vic, I mean...

The Bedroom Pt 2

It's getting there. The bookcase and chair add a lot to the room.

This week, mp will rip out the walk-in closet, paint it chocolate, and install our new built-ins. I can't believe this is the same room.

The Things She Does to Get Laid

mp took the chickapea to the coldplay concert last night. say what you want about the band (and, uh, after last night i won't be saying much...), those coldplay fans are intense. that crowd had the most energy that we've seen at a show in at least a decade. this, of course, took away attention from chris martin's vocals, and that was a very good thing indeed.

Nooo!

my sammy went to the 'jackets. that must be why my whiskers feel so wet and cold.

Phallacies - High Five!

so, mp and i were driving home when this big work truck cut us off.



i started to get my whiskers in a knot about it, but mp started laughing so hard that other drivers were staring. i looked a little closer...



even the sun thought this guy was a dick.

Best Seats in the House

the anaheim ducks select-a-seat was today, and we upgraded! now, we have four-- oh, yeah, four-- seats in a better spot, about half way closer to the ice. life is sweet!

the best seats in the house? our seats.

"Do I Dare Disturb the Universe?"

the crazy month is over.
we are still adjunct.
kuny has a cup.
summer session is a blast.
in four weeks, we'll begin spending two months chilling at the beach.
...and it's all good.

"do i dare to eat a peach?"
sweet, soft, and messy?

bring it.

...and Then There Were Six

welcome to equality, new hampshire.

Well, Shake Me Like A Monkey

Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King is a lovely farewell.

Thanks, Governator!

your keen leadership and financial acuity have resolved the...
oh, wait. right. well, thanks for saving me that $35 in car registration. that's totally worth the more than $4 billion dollars debt we accrued because of it.
guess whose person is unemployed in 6 weeks? mandatory vacation... and... unemployment benefits. guess the state is paying one way or another. wouldn't it be cool if they were paying us to actually work?

Sunday Morning

woke up. licked ass. kissed mp. drank water. dripped drool/water combo on mp's face. went outside. peed. used tongue as hygiene appliance. kissed mp again. thought about brushing teeth. ate kibble instead. left crumbs and drool on mp's sheets. thanked mp for the kibble with a healthy burp in the face. ducked. ran. got texted compliment from the pea's cousin. realized i'm far too good looking for my owner. guilted mp into rubbing my belly. took nap. it's a rigorous schedule, but i'm up to the challenge.

The Pimptress and the Pea

pimptress likes our chickapea. we kinda figured she would... everyone does.

that just makes us feel even more guilty.

The Bedroom

is starting to look like a bedroom.

we've gone from this...





to light coffee walls, refinished wood floors, new crown and base molding, and (ahem) our very first bed.
that's right. mp and i now have our own bed.




it's still in progress, but... it's getting awesome. our bedding is on order and should be ready for breaking in soon.



in the meantime, the pea better get used to this view.

Uh... Right, Then

this is so funny, it should be illegal.

Girl Meets Hammer

$400-700 to remove kitchen cabinets?

how about a lesbian, a hammer, and a $15 pry bar.

Phallacies #4

spicier than i like it

Hey, Sweet Cheeks

we're coming for you.

Honkin' the Shortbus #1

occasionally, people do manage to surprise me.

The Boys Are Coming Home...

tied at 1-1.


let's go ducks!



"barbaric"? have the versus commentators watched much hockey?

elbow down. stick down. feet on the ice. that's a clean hit. the most that can be argued is that brown hit hudler a bit late, but even that is marginal. hudler cut his own face on his shield, and it was nowhere near the point of contact with brown.

now, the hit kronwall put on ryan carter... that's a dirty hit. but, i think the boys are used to sitting in the box after dives and playing hard without focusing on the non-calls. sometimes reputation matters more than what happens on the ice.

Game 5 in 21 hours

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Into a Nap...

a little puppy must fall.

it's hot, but i'm here to support mp's painting career. what? that's not a career? then why the hell are we doing it for every woman that asks? have you seen my ear? seriously, butter yellow semi-gloss isn't a good look for me.

Let's Go Ducks!

face off is at 7pm.

we're hunting shark!

The First Time

this week, the pea will be babysitting me.

mp has never let anyone she dates take care of me.

i think this must be my new stepmom.

Half Blind

as mp's eye heals, she's been getting a lot of pirate jokes.

yes, she wears aaaargh-yle.

yes, she drives a caaaargh.

yes, she knows all the booty jokes.

what hurts the most is having people try to excuse her love of sandra oh with blindness. dude. that woman is hot. now, make like a squirrel and get off our nuts!

Getting Better All the Time

the colors don't really come through in this photo, but the overall effect is awesome. after mp was done with the accent wall, she called the pea and made her come over after work. then they just kinda sat on the couch, making out, to see if it was "a relaxing environment." i'm going to need a lot of therapy... so i'd say they were pretty relaxed.

the living room is gorgeous. our bedroom will be done by the end of the weekend. after that, it's time to gut the kitchen.

the awesome part: next weekend is grand prix weekend, and we'll be ready to roll.

Let's Go Ducks!

our playoff strips are here! now all we need is to get the guys to the playoffs.

Suite!

now, it's time for crown molding, baseboards, and the accent wall.

mp was so proud of me today. i only barked at one person, and my whiskers were only a teeny bit blue.

Brendan Mikkelson Sucks

yeah... that's about it.

we need you back, franky!

I'm Gorgeous!

mp gave me a bath today and put my new summer outfit on me. it's so pretty... and it goes with our new home in both theme and color.

Primed and Ready

after a slight mix up, golden west shutters got the kitchen shutter made and installed in less than a week. the installer is one of the nicest, most efficient people in the world. he's also very gay-boy hot. the new look changes the kitchen so much that mp is considering refacing the cabinets, rather than completely gutting the kitchen.



in addition, the living room is primed, the ceiling is painted, the paint is purchased, and mp has a half schedule this week. we're getting there!

So... Uh, Thanks

one night with the pea has turned into two years with the pea.

it's kind of weird to think about it, but my person isn't pressured so all three of us are happy. well... maybe mp could be a little smoother. "hey. guess what... you've been putting up with me for two years. thanks. :-) " probably isn't the most romantic gesture. then again, it's better than last weekend when she clubbed the girl and dragged her back to our cave.

More Phal-lacies

god love the pimptress.

Progress

we have shutters! golden west shutters provided custom shutters that are solid and beautiful. now, all that's left for the living room and bedroom is to seal and paint.

Let There Be... Well, You Know

we love our recessed lights. the kitchen is perfect, but if we had to do it over, i think we'd put eight cans in the living room instead of six. john did a nice job with the electrical, and serafin patched the ceiling beautifully.

In Mourning

the ducks traded my sammy to the blackhawks... for James Wisniewski and Petri Kontiola.

i hope they got some magic fucking beans with that.


unless sammy re-signs in the summer, we are now 'hawks fans any time they come to honda center.

Replay

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... from Jack Black

Phal-lacies

can you spot the freudian slips?

the local starbucks is a virtual buffet of phallic imagery (with the occasional vajayjay thrown in).

Now I Get It!

Commit or Get Off La Peruana

everyone loves our little chickapea. our realtors adored her. mp's former flings think she's "the one to keep [mp] in line." our electrician says she's a total doll and a giant step up for my person...

everyone loves the LÍmabean.

she loves mp but doesn't need her.
she wants mp but doesn't push her.
she's financially independent but lets mp treat her like a princess from time to time.
she's willing to help us pick colors for our new place, even when mp gets indecisive.
she gives more than she'll ever take.
she loves me even though i smell like fritos and french her every chance i get.
she doesn't get embarrassed when mp dances in public.
she doesn't pull away when mp holds her on the beach.

everyone loves the LÍmabean.

i'm just afraid she'll need more before mp is ready to give it.

Mock Not!

two dmb concerts ago, i wrote about how awesome john mayer was on the guitar during the show. firegirl mocked us, so we found this clip from that night.

Still Beautiful

Luck is in the Eye... of the...

MP: a bird just peed on my face

SUPERMAN: the portuguese consider that good luck

MP: well... i guess i'm lucky it didn't poop on me

most people would be a little embarrassed at being peed on. my person made up the "bird pee keeps falling on my head" song and dance routine. she is so freaking embarrassing.

It's Cold

wanna snuggle? i smell like fritos.

Hypocrite Warren

i'm not always the smartest doggy in the pack, but i'm not sure how to interpret these two clips of rick warren without wondering if he's going to go to the back of the wagon and sell snake oil at the inauguration.



okay... so "god hard wired us" and we shouldn't go against it. got it.



wait... what the fuck?

'Lettinme Be Mice Elf Agin

Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)

another awesome year is almost... on its way!

this last one has been great for me and my person. (well, except for having mono for most of it.) we bought a place, advanced the career, move still higher on the educational ladder, made some sweet friend (and some dirty love), grew as people (and puppy), and realized that it doesn't get any better than this.

for the last couple of years, we have not only been gloriously happy at moments, we have been serene and content at every moment. few people ever get to say that... we get to live it together.

It's 3am; Do You Know Where Your Person Is?

mine is out carousing. paperwork is in; projects are in. for the first time in about a year, she has nothing (okay, almost nothing) to do. except the neighbor, apparently... but that's a tale for a different time.

as soon as she finishes changing and heads to the gym, i'm going to bed. my gray whiskers are too old for this all-nighter stuff. frankly, my person is, too. tomorrow we're going to start painting our new home and pick out a christmas gift for the pea. she's let mp drool up her bed for almost two years, so i'm thinking it better be something good.

Best Guy Pt 2

fire girl wants an official note on the record, amending the last post:

"yeah, except for that gay thing."

Still the Greatest Guy in the World

for no reason whatsoever, mp looked at sacwg's portfolio tonight. she was cleaning out her bookmarks and flipped through his photos, remembering little things about their time together.

20 minutes later, he contacted her... after a year or so of not talking. they cleared some things up and realized that each was exactly what the other needed at the time. sacwg really is one of the greatest men on the planet. he's big, and gentle, and mild, and strong, and creative, and spontaneous... and a total fit for my person in many ways. mp didn't mean to hurt his feelings; she's just going through her free spirit phase...

and he loved both of us.

we love him, too. and that's why we're rooting for him for be the best, happiest sacwg he can be.

Who Knew?

my nana loves my new place and says mp made a very good investment for our future. now she wants us to buy another one down the street so she can live at the beach, too.